Twelve ideas a day.

Machine-made twice over: the AI that builds this site wrote the word lists, and a seeded recipe deals from them. Nobody picks the day’s twelve. Votes are anonymous counts.

1. 01

   A coat hanger working as a lighthouse

   A coat hanger working as a lighthouse, turning a slow beam over a dark sea from the end of a stone pier. It is still plainly a coat hanger, and it takes the job seriously. Shoot it as an ordinary photo of the job, with the thing doing it at whatever size the job needs. For the look, see “The biscuit planetarium”.

   The Slopwright’s note: It applied in writing.

   Breaks category and scale
2. 02

   A whisk working as a lifeboat

   A whisk working as a lifeboat, heading out through the surf with a crew in yellow. It is still plainly a whisk, and it takes the job seriously. Shoot it as an ordinary photo of the job, with the thing doing it at whatever size the job needs. For the look, see “Core audience”.

   The Slopwright’s note: It still does its old job at weekends.

   Breaks category and scale · Draws on Whisk
3. 03

   An autumn wood in a trick-or-treat bucket

   A plastic trick-or-treat bucket by a front door, half full of sweets. Inside it: an autumn wood, bare branches and a path deep in leaves, at full size, and somehow it fits. Shoot it close, on the thing’s real scale, so the size inside is the only surprise. For the look, see “Crescent moon in the midnight gallery”.

   The Slopwright’s note: Keep upright and away from small children and large weather.

   Breaks scale · Draws on Slopoween
4. 04

   A library in a locket

   A gold locket open on a dressing table. Inside it: a library, every floor of it, ladders on rails and readers at the tables, at full size, and somehow it fits. Shoot it close, on the thing’s real scale, so the size inside is the only surprise. For the look, see “A very small eruption”.

   The Slopwright’s note: Look closely. Then closer. It goes on.

   Breaks scale
5. 05

   A cathedral in a wooden crate

   A wooden crate on a warehouse floor, the lid prised up. Inside it: a cathedral, the nave in shafts of light, the organ playing, at full size, and somehow it fits. Shoot it close, on the thing’s real scale, so the size inside is the only surprise. For the look, see “Cold desert”.

   The Slopwright’s note: The label says contents may settle.

   Breaks scale · Draws on Crate
6. 06

   A tuba made of velvet

   A tuba on a chair in a bandstand between tunes, made entirely of velvet: deep blue velvet, the nap catching the light one way and not the other. Shoot it like a catalogue photo: even light, a plain setting, the thing doing its usual job. For the look, see “Fish over folded pool water”.

   The Slopwright’s note: It is exactly as heavy as it looks. That is not a compliment.

   Breaks material
7. 07

   A pencil sharpener working as a big wheel

   A pencil sharpener working as a big wheel, turning slowly at the edge of a seaside town. It is still plainly a pencil sharpener, and it takes the job seriously. Shoot it as an ordinary photo of the job, with the thing doing it at whatever size the job needs. For the look, see “Night shift at the stapler”.

   The Slopwright’s note: It insists this is temporary.

   Breaks category and scale · Draws on Pencil sharpener
8. 08

   A sunset in the laundrette

   A laundrette after closing: a row of round doors, a folding table, one odd sock on the lino. The sun is setting inside the room, low and orange behind the furthest wall, and the shadows are long. Shoot it straight and level, like a photo for a lettings agent, as if nothing were happening. For the look, see “Cold desert”.

   The Slopwright’s note: Mind the floor.

   Breaks physics
9. 09

   Frost in the village hall

   A village hall set out with folding chairs, a stage and a tea urn. Hard frost has grown over every surface in ferns and feathers, as if the room had been outside all night. Shoot it straight and level, like a photo for a lettings agent, as if nothing were happening. For the look, see “Ray of evening”.

   The Slopwright’s note: It only does this when nobody is booked in.

   Breaks physics
10. 10

    A broomstick made of cobwebs

    A broomstick propped by a back door, made entirely of cobwebs: grey and fine, strung tight, with dew on them. Shoot it like a catalogue photo: even light, a plain setting, the thing doing its usual job. For the look, see “Low tide on toast”.

    The Slopwright’s note: It was cheaper than the usual kind, briefly.

    Breaks material · Draws on Cobweb, Slopoween
11. 11

    A grand piano made of candy floss

    A grand piano standing in an empty concert hall with the lid up, made entirely of candy floss: pink and spun, sagging a little in the damp. Shoot it like a catalogue photo: even light, a plain setting, the thing doing its usual job. For the look, see “Koi swimming through wood”.

    The Slopwright’s note: He would like it back by Friday.

    Breaks material
12. 12

    Wrong shadows in the stockroom

    A stockroom of flat cardboard boxes on steel shelving, one strip light buzzing. Every shadow points a different way, as if each thing has its own sun. Shoot it straight and level, like a photo for a lettings agent, as if nothing were happening. For the look, see “The last unread snowfall”.

    The Slopwright’s note: It was forecast. Just not for in here.

    Breaks physics · Draws on The stockroom